Separation Anxiety PD 14.3.18

Separation Anxiety

• In NE we are noticing quite extreme separation anxiety; worse than we’ve seen before. Children are not able to be settled by a cuddle, like most children, they are inconsolable and screaming, running from the classroom after parents. The added issue being the new restraint guidelines.
• In Juniors they are noticing older Year 1s who may have been at school a year and a half or more still very agitated/upset at separation time. This is higher in frequency and extremity than Year 1 teachers have noticed before as well.
• Need to look at what’s underpinning the attachment. Pull it apart - what could be causing this? When have identified the underlying issue, may be more equipped to support this.
• May require some coaching with parents so they are able to support this too. Child also gets the message then that you’re ‘both on the same page’.
• Suggested that teacher should come alongside the parent, then both are presenting ‘on the same side’. Use eye contact with the child and Mum (reinforces the message that Mum is okay with the teacher too; Mum knows the teacher is a safe person). Teacher can say things like: “I’m here to take care of you.” “I’m here to keep you safe.” “I can see you’re not feeling okay about this. I understand.” (validate the feeling rather than add pressure with comments like “I know you can do it” when actually the child may not be in an emotional state to do so).
• If you’re trying all of the above and it’s still not working, keep going. Sometimes the brain takes a bit longer to fully process/consolidate this.
• Attachment can actually be a primal need. Sandy likened this to hunger. If you’re hungry you can work to a certain point, but at some point the hunger gets too much to manage. It’s the same with anxiety.
• Deep connection needed between child and teacher - need to consciously ‘create the relationship’. Just saying “Hi, how are you?” in the morning, may not be enough for some children. Focus on deep relational stuff (Sandy/Paula can offer suggestions if you need some other strategies to try).
• Children can sometimes pick up the anxious feelings through reading the parent’s anxieties.
• Don’t avoid talking about Mum/Dad with the child when the parents have gone. Talking about them/keeping connections helps keep the child feeling emotionally safe.
• Could have something tactile that draws the connection with Mum i.e. both Mum and the child could have a stone in their pocket. When the child touches it they can think of Mum.
• Invisible String/Kissing Hands good picture books to use as reference.
• Levels of attachment reading. Covers how to deepen/strengthen the relationship building.
• Circle of Security hand-out given as a resource that could be shared with parents.
• Paula could come in and do a session with the parents/children (email Jo and Jo will tee this up).